J.J.CALE

   69 Tales Of Middle Earth CS   
A1   The Electricity In The Air Before A Good Siege   
A2   Larping At The Blind Guardian Concert   
A3   Orc Blade Plunged Deep Into Elvin Flesh   
A4   Gollum Was A Crack Baby   
A5   The Witch That Lives In The Trees   
A6   The Water Temple Can Suck My Ass   
A7   Crowdfunding To Buy Myself Chainmail   
A8   Drawn And Quartered Varg Finally Dies   
A9   Going For A Hike And Finding A Black Metal Promo Shoot   
A10   Cursed Dagger Of Lee-Hon-Tuc   
A11   My Blade, My Honor, My Suffrage   
A12   Thine Torch Igniting The Ceremonial Fireworks   
A13   M'Lord Is Medieval For Daddy   
A14   I Got Roasted By A Guy Wearing A Fedora At A Ren Fair   
A15   Masturbating To The Elves In Skyrim   
A16   Smallsword // Smallerdick   
A17   Lack Of Basic Hygiene Doesn't Make You A Viking   
A18   Stabbing The Winner Of Varg's Tabletop R.P.G.   
A19   Calling Your Mother's Basement Your Dungeon   
A20   Sexual Fantasy Involving An Orc And A Dwarf   
A21   Frolicking Naked In The Trees Because You're A Wizard   
A22   Frolicking Naked In The Trees Because You're A Wizard   
A23   Ishan Before He Thought He Was In Dream Theater   
A24   Mayhem: A Career Made On Two Corpses   
A25   Bigsword //Mircoscopicpenis   
A26   That Feel When Good Siege   
A27   I Liked Harry Potter Better When He Was In Troll   
A28   Using Black Magic To Get Myself A Date   
A29   Leading The Charge   
A30   Into The Mines Of Moria   
A31   I Live In A Hut In The Woods With Ildjarn   
A32   I Can't Wait For The Lords Of Noisecore To Put A Hit Out On Me   
A33   Using Flash During A Black Metal Show To Ruin The Ambiance   
A34   Wolves In The Throne Room Are A Bunch Of Fucking Nerds   
A35   I'm From Texas, I Don't Know What Winter Is   
A36   You Smell Like An MMO Player   
A37   It's Not Caps Lock, IT'S KVLT LOCK, DIPSHIT!!!   
A38   I Was Born In The Wrong Time, I Want To Lead A Crusade   
A39   Leading A Medieval Campain To 711 For Mountain Dew   
A40   Beating Up Nerds Outside Of A Kamelot Concert   
A41   Dungeon Synth, Trve Incel Music   
A42   Graveland's Instagram Sharing Star Wars Memes   
A43   Rob Darken Looks Like My Grandma   
A44   Getting Lyrical Themes From Runescape   
A45   Ildjarn Is A School Teacher   
A46   Mortiis Looks Like A Digimon   
A47   Cave Dwelling Dungeon Synth Fan   
A48   The Trees Tell Me Many Things, Like Where To Score PCP   
A49   This Rock In The Forest Looks Like A Member Of A Boston Punk Band   
A50   Chainmail Protects Me From Blades, But Not Your Insults   
A51   Bringing A Sword To A Punk Show To Scare Poseurs   
A52   Dear Knight I Commend Thine Skullet   
A53   Eating From Yee Olde Pizza Carte   
A54   Forgotten Forest Path Leading To A Meth Lab   
A55   Spell Book Containing A Couple Of Spells   
A56   Satan Is M'Lord   
A57   Hanging Out With My Fellow Incels At The Iced Earth Concert   
A58   Christopher Lee's Power Metal Band   
A59   Drunkenly Slogging Around Demanding People Drink Your Potion   
A60   My Dear, Sweet, Combat Alchemist   
61   The Power Of The Full Moon Charging My Boner   
A62   My Huge, Heathen, Maypole   
A63   I Am A Wizard And My Magic Is Meth   
A64   I Work At Medieval Times To Get Drunk On Mead   
A65   Peasants Who Think Burzum Is Good   
A66   Nobles That Know Ildjarn Is Truth   
A67   Going From Punk To Pissing Cave Dweller   
A68   True Crime Songs Are Fucking Stupid   
A69   Faust From Emperor Is Free To Kill Again   
   That Guy From Anal Cunt Neither Feared Or Respected That Escalator Single   
A70   That Guy From Anal Cunt Neither Feared Or Respected That Escalator   
   45 Songs Of Friendship EP   
A71   Intro (Into The Pantheon Of Friendship)   
A72   My Friend Nick Is The Textbook Definition Gentile Giant And Is A Very Good Boy   
A73   Joseph Is A Very Patient Person Who Writes Very Good Music   
A74   My Friend Ryan, Beat Me For An Art Scholarship, Because He's A Better Artist Than Me   
A75   My Friend Libby, The Motorcycle Mom To All The Young Punks   
A76   Danny From Austin Who Told Me I'm His P. White To His Billy Quizboy   
A77   Danni Who Does Really Good Tattoos, Like The Mace On My Arm   
A78   My Friend Life, Who Likes War Metal And Is Going To Beauty School   
A79   My Friend Blake Who Once Demanded I Stop In A Town Called Cumming   
A80   My Friend Wad Who Once Helped Me Make Knifechucks   
A81   Texas Mike, Who Doesn't Live In Texas, But Loudly Tells Me He Loves Me   
A82   I Have A Friend Named Liam Who Makes Black Metal And People Call Him Piss   
A83   My Friend Erica Who Makes Really Cool Art And Screams A Lot   
A84   My Friend Alican Who Is The Smartest Idiot I Know   
A85   My Friend Emma, Who Is Going To Make A Pornogrind Band About Killing Incels   
A86   My Friend Lauren, A Smolbean Who Shreds The Bass   
A87   My Friend Hodge, Who Plays Drums Very Good And Very Calmly   
A88   Reese, Or Ross, Who Plays Scape And Fronts A Death Metal Band   
A89   My Friend Donovan Is A Gear Encyclopedia And A Very Good Boy   
A90   My Friend Kimberly, Noisecore Queen   
A91   Dunny, The Cave Dwelling Dungeon Synth Man Who Is Very Handsome   
A92   My Friend Joose Who Is Really Funny   
A93   Slade, A Very, Very Nice Boy Who Plays Powerviolence   
A94   Todd, Another, Very, Very Nice Boy Who Plays Powerviolence   
A95   Allin Who Left America To Study Something They Really Enjoy Writes Really Cool Music   
A96   My Friend Derik Is A Hobbit And A Good Boy   
A97   My Friend Larry, A Part Time Weeb, Full Time Small Business Owner   
A98   My Friend Gus Who Is Way Tougher Than I Will Ever Be   
A99   My Friend Hannah Costillo Who Takes Pictures Really Good   
A100   My Friends Ian, Olivia, Jordan And Gabe Are All Very Nice And Have A Great Band Named Warm Bodies   
A101   My Friend Billy Who Is My Twin And Has A Really Good Band Named Bib   
A102   Rocha, Who Makes Scary Music But Has A Heart Of Gold   
A103   Uncle Rob, Who Is An Absolute Treasure   
A104   I Have A Friend Named Taylor Vinson Who Is Really Funny, But Ate At A Texas In N Out   
A105   My Friend Caroline Is The Reason I'm In This Stupid Shit And Alive   
A106   Jake Garlick, He Plays Nasty Guitar Really Good And He Can Skate   
A107   Simon Who Watches Very Well Made Movies And Plays Drums Very Well   
A108   My Friend Erica Salazar Who I Miss But I'm Hoping Is Doing Well In Seattle   
A109   My Friend Savannah Has A Cool Job Working For People Who Book Cool Shows   
A110   My Friend Jackson "Burnout" Boyd And I Once Went On A Goregrind Date   
A111   Andy, Sometimes Billy, Is A Hurricane And A Good Boy   
A112   My Friend Parker Puts Themselves Down A Lot Despite How Talented They Are   
A113   My Friend Carroll, The Lone Cowpunk And A Good Fishing Guide   
A114   My Friend Sam Claims She's Very Jarring But Is A Very Nice Person   
A115   Outro (The Gates Of Friendship)   
   Thieves Of Sunshine EP   
A116   Thieves Of Sunshine (Lethal Enforcers Of The Night)   
A117   Suicide Involving A Noose Made Of Piano Wire, Gorilla Gluing My Hands To Head And Yelling How FUCKING MAD I AM   
A118   Fucking Weeb Scum Who Blast NSBM Nightcore Covers While Spanking It To Hentai   
   Rotten, Stinking, Cannibalistic, Gorenoise EP   
A119   How Do You Like My Carcass Rip-off Art For My Gorenoise Ep?   
A120   Andre Chicatilo Was A Sick Fuck Who Ate His Victim's Genitals   
A121   Alferd Packer Is Having A Schpadoinkle Day In Hell For Eating 5 Of His Companions In The Mountains   
A122   I Sure Do Love Roadside Barbeque In Texas, Especially When Its Made Out Of People   
A123   Trying To Make Zombie Sex Slaves By Drilling Into Their Brains   
A124   Cannibal Corpse Subliminally Convinced Me To Eat My Friend's Brain, It Wasn't As Good As They Said It Would   
   East Bound And Down To Hell: The Words Of The Venerated Texas Mike Pt 1   
A125   William, I Have But One Setting And It Is Go   
A126   I'm Going To Dig Up John Lennon's Abuser Corpse And Show It The Abuse It Deserves   
A127   Bring John Lennon Back To Life So I Can Kill Him Again   
A128   What Rich People Google: How Many Pounds Of Truffle Can I Fit Into My Ass   
A129   Yesterday When I Was In The Shower, I Cupped My Hands, And Peed Into Them. I Sat There Holding 8 Ounces Of My Own Pee   
A130   I Looked At It, Felt Its Warmth, And Then Unclasped My Hands As I Watch The Golden Liquid Flow Down The Drain   
A131   I Thought What If... What If I Would Have Drank That Pee?   
A132   Gold Is The Colour Of Gold But Also "Pee Pee"   
A133   Six Dudes Hanging Around A Car With The Hood Up... Ain't Nothin' Better   
A134   Ah... A Nice Glass Of Piss   
A135   Aw, Pikachu Shat On The Carpet Again!   
A136   Can't Wait For The Future And Mail Order Lsd   
A137   Need To Make Some Quick $$$... If You Are Interested In Purchasing An Old Wall In China Hmu   
A138   Youtube Channel That Only Uploads Off-brand Battery Reviews   
A139   Sorry Tim Heidecker But It's Time For The Real King Of Comedy To Take Back The Throne... Jeff Foxworthy!!!!   
A140   Tim Heidecker Vs Me, Trapped In A Restaurants Kitchen While A Grease Fire Burns Out Of Control   
A141   Tim Heidecker: Your Days Are Numbered, My Man!   
A142   3 Hour Ted Talk Hosted By Yours Truly Where I Just Make Mouth Noises   
A143   Drawing Dicks In The UPS Signature Field   
A144   I Think Jethro Tull Would Be Interesting Opponents In A Fight   
A145   Petition: Replace The Faces Of Those Guys On Mt Rushmore With The Freebird Lyrics   
A146   I Smoked The Government Weed And I Can't Sleep, I Can't Stop Thinking About Mars!   
A147   100 Likes And I Will Get A Crucified Skinhead Tattoo   
A148   A Video Game Where You Play As Steve Buscemi   
A149   Taco Bell Sponsorship   
A150   Larry David Sex Tape   
A151   Crucified Skinhead But It's Gumby   
A152   Mark Zuckerberg Has A Controlling Share In Youth Attack Records   
A153   Who Up I Got A Box Of Dr Pepper   
A154   Had A Dream I Met An NFL Player And I Begged Him To Kill Me   
A155   I Miss Texas And I Miss Sweet Tea   
A156   Adam Sandler But With A British Accent   
A157   Spiderman's Balls   
A158   Cowboy God Has Made A Decision... Pineapple Must Remain On Pizza   
A159   Take It Easy By The Eagles   
A160   Repent You Sinners And Become COWBOY   
A161   God Is Returning In Half Of An Hour... Cowboy God   
A162   I'd Like To Have A Cage Match With Alton Brown   
A163   Double Click Here To See Magic   
A164   Just Walked Up To Cale Weir In Public, He Was High And Listening To Tiger Army   
A165   Ask Me About Burst Pipes   
A166   Mass Sterilization Caused By Poopoo And Peepee   
A167   My Idea Of Heaven Would Be Listening To Country And Western Music With My Gpa Forevr   
A168   Subway Sandwiches Buffet   
A169   A Pizza Place Run By Skinheads   
A170   I'm Gonna Kick Your Ass (I'm Lifting Weights As I Post This)   
A171   Martial Artists Breaking Planks But The Planks Are Replaced With Casio Keyboards   
A172   A Cap With A Hole For People To Show Off Their Bald Spots   
A173   All Bald People Are Skinheads   
A174   I Wonder What Pisspiggranddad Is Doing Right Now   
A175   A Vegetable Called Jetpack   
A176   Has Anyone Made Pillows That Look Like Butts Yet   
A177   Two Nude Musclebound Men Chasing Each Other Around A Junkyard Shooting Each Other With Dollar Store Water Guns   
A178   I Need To Clone Myself Five Times So I Can Fulfil My Dream Of Owning And Operating A Chain Of 6 24/7 Gas Stations   
A179   Pumping Iron To The Sopranos Theme Song   
A180   I Am Hungover And I Am Fucking Manic   
A181   Last Night I Got Banned From Metro (The Supermarket) For Opening And Eating Three Cans Of Cold Staggs Chili In The Store   
A182   If I Shit My Pants Would My Boss Let Me Go Home Early   
A183   Last Night God Came To Me In The Form Of Liam And He Said "Wanan Maybe Hanmg Out"   
A184   Tom Cruise Is The Shadow President And A Member Of The Deep State   
A185   Welcome To My Shop Where I Sell Fresh Sweet Corn And New Video Game Releases   
A186   "Cro Mags Full Album" Tatted Across My Stomach A La "Thug Life"   
A187   Nike Sneakers In Camo Making Me Really Horny   
A188   Woke Up With The Fresh Smell Of A Hoagie Near By And A Morning Has Never Been So Complete For Me   
A189   I Just Wanna Noodle Catfish And Shit In An Outhouse   
A190   Gonna Open Up An Eyebrow Place Called "The Big Lebrowski"   
A191   Who Else Is Soaked And Sitting In A Leather Chair At Work   
A192   9/11 Truther In The Streets, Infowarrior In The Sheets   
A193   Bust Three Nuts Today: Two For The Towers, One For The Pentagon   
   Incel Exterminator   
A194   This Divine Blade Gifted To Me From The Goddess, Liliana, Will Protect My Virginity At All Costs   
A195   That Guy From Anal Cunt Neither Feared Or Respected That Escalator   
A196   The Harsh Stench Of Mountain Dew On The Incel's Breath   
A197   I Can't Wait For Jerkbooth To Make Fun Of Me Again   
A198   Billy From Omaha Is A Very Good Boy   
A199   Waylen Jennings Is Better Than Any Of Your Dumb Ass N.Y.H.C. Clone Bands   
A200   I Had To Find A Virgin To Sacrifice, So At The Stroke Of Midnight I Raided The Local Gamestop   
A201   I Don't Know If This Morning's Taco Bell Diarrhea Sounded More Like Carcass Or Impetigo Vocals   
A202   Spay Or Neuter Your Retro-thrasher Today   
A203   Dream Theater Concert, Aka Incel Pride 2018   
A204   Twister Is The Best Movie Ever Written, If You Disagree You're Fucking Stupid   
A205   Brogaze Played By The Chillest Of Brogazers   
A206   That Time I Convinced Some Bros That A.C.A.B. Means A Chill Ass Bro   
A207   Claiming Your Identity Is Asexual When You're Just An Incel   
A208   Remember When You Said Punk Would Be Great Again Under Trump? You Lied To Me.   
A209   The Deep And Eldritch Sorcery That Will Befall You If You Dare Call Me Fag Again   
A210   Only The Trvest Of Satanists Set Up Their Dungeons In Their Mom's Garage   
A211   I'm Just An Ugly Homo (Who Plays In A Noisecore Band)   
A212   Glen Benton Pussied Out Of Killing Himself   
A213   I'd Rather Listen To Dream Theater Than Another Band That Sounds Like Fucking Gag   
A214   Using Arcane Necromancy To Revive Cliff Burton To Finally Solve The Lars Problem   
A215   The Hardest Part Of Being A Dungeon Synth Fan Was Telling My Parents That I'm A Gay Goblin   
A216   Antichrist Kramer Is Going To Fight Neckbeard Deathcamp   
A217   I Showed You My Youth Attack Collection, Please Respond   
A218   My Friend Bald Larry Plays D&D, Listens To Power Metal And Still Goes On More Dates Than Me   
A219   My First Band, FxCxPx, Was An Abomination Before God And A Failure   
A220   The Beautiful, Cold Winter Night That Froze My Balls Off And Made Me A Eunuch   
A221   Magic The Gathering Of The Juggalos   
A222   Satan Is M’Lord II: Daddy Krampus   
A223   I Liked Dave Mustaine Better When He Was On Heroin   
A224   I Will Die Upon The True Altars Of Madness, Cici's Pizza, As My Body Dissolves From The Grease   
A225   Chanting "Make Him Cum" During The Witching Hour Only Summoned A Cop To Issue Us A Noise Complaint   
A226   Long Sleeved, Four Sided Dream Theater Awake Shirt To Attract All The Prog Babes   
A227   Razorbumps Is Playing Cochella; Thats The Joke   
   Unreleased Tracks From A Failed Tape   
A228   I'm Glad Denton Free Jazz Musicicans Fucking Hate Me Now   
A229   If I Wanted To Watch Some Dude Jerk It For 20 Minutes I'd Use Chatroulette Instead Of Going To The Skronk Show   
A230   I'm Glad Jesus Chris & The Beatles Broke Up   
A231   Cleric Got Sponsored By Hair Care Products   
A232   Oh God Fucking Dammit Not Another Band With Parker Lawson In It   
A233   Flat Earth Guy Is The True Hero Of North Texas   
A234   Creeping Death Will Never Be A Real Death Metal Band Until They Cover Good Sepultura   
A235   Burning An Anal Cunt Tape Upon The Altar Of Homosexuality As An Offering To The Lords Of Noisecore   
A236   Infernal Legions Of Mordor Is CANCELLED!!!   
   One Dead Hobbit    
A237   Dead Hobbit 1   
A238   Dead Hobbit 2   
A239   Dead Hobbit 3   
A240   Dead Hobbit 4   
A241   Dead Hobbit 5   
A242   Dead Hobbit 6   
A243   Dead Hobbit 7   
A244   Dead Hobbit 8   
A245   Dead Hobbit 9   
A246   Message From Mayor Joose Banks 1    
A247   Dead Hobbit 10   
A248   Dead Hobbit 11   
A249   Dead Hobbit 12   
A250   Dead Hobbit 13   
A251   Dead Hobbit 14   
A252   Dead Hobbit 15   
A253   Dead Hobbit 16   
A255   Message From Mayor Joose Banks 2   
   Just Another Day Of My Meat Coffin Rotting On This Punishment Orb   
A256   Just Another Day Of My Meat Coffin Rotting On This Punishment Orb   
   Defenders Of The Basement    
A257   6669 Songs About How I Wanna Fight James Labrie   
   Big Iron (Marty Robbins Cover)   
A258   Big Iron (Marty Robbins Cover)   
   Two Years Of Darkness And Depravity    
A259   Lodged In The Throat, Disintegrated, Regurgitated   
A260   The Daylight Really Makes You Notice The Blood & Feces    
   Exiled From The Kingdom: Isolated For The Good Of The Land   
A261   Introduction: Will It Scrobble?   
A262   Charles Fucking Knowles   
A263   Skronk Sucks   
A264   I'm Essential    
A265   Playing A Wrathful God In Sims 4   
A266   Essential Run To The Grocery Store For The New Flavor Of Mountain Dew   
A267   We're All Shitposters Now   
A268   Shooting Artsy Nudes On Cinestill 800 Because You're A Fucking Dumb Ass   
A269   We Totally Won The Battle Set With Two Knights   
A270   Too Punk For The Noise Crowd, Too Noise For The Punks   
A271   From Top Fan To Band Member; The Rhys Johnson Story   
A272   Simon   
A273   Crankin' Hog   
A274   Using Longmont Potion Castle Threats On Telemarketers   
A275   April 2020, Far From The Vibe We Thought 4​/​20 Would Be   
A276   You Do Not Need An AR​-​15 You Dumb Sack Of Fuck   
A277   Beefy Five Layer Burrito, No Beans, Grilled, Add Nacho Fries   
A278   Hey Fuck You, Fuck You Rei Clone   
A279   Cici's Delivers Now   
A280   Tom Nook Is The Only Good Capitalist   
A281   Comin' On Down There With My Bull Whip And Goin' Wha​-​pah​!​!   
A282   Morbid Angel And Bolt Thrower Are Fucking Boring   
A283   I May Be Ugly, But I Own A Carved Cross Demo You Fucking Peasant   
A284   Remember When We Were A Meme Page?   
A285   Imran Being Late   
A286   Busting A Depression Nut Just To Feel Something   
A287   Why, Yes, I Do Have Plenty Of Shit​-​Tickets   
A288   Being A Sword Guy Is A Personality Right?   
A289   Where Is Texas Mike Now When We Need Him The Most​?​?​?   
A290   Shaving Your Head Is A Side Effect Of COVID​-​19   
A291   The Band Called Upsetting. That's The Joke.   
A292   One Of The Owners Of Freaks & Geeks Made An Infernal Legions Of Mordor Shirt In Animal Crossing   
A293   Yeah, I Watch Anime, But I'm Not A Fucking Weeb Like Rei Clone   
A294   Simon II: Simon Liked Your Post   
A295   Amos From Tenement Likes Raising Caine's & Aerosmith   
A296   Give Me Back Recycled! You Can Have Lsa! Just Give Me Back Recycled​!​!​!   
A297   We're A Hot, Discogs Flipping Commodity Now   
A298   A Joke About The Dog Episode Of Fullmetal Alchemist   
A299   A Rei Clone Sucks Joke   
A300   A Song About How The Oil Spill EP Slaps And How Rei Clone Still Sucks   
A301   I Survived The Days Of Egg Punk For This​?​?​?   
A302   Unbelievably Unhorny   
A303   Jazz Fusion Assbeaters By The Band Called King Crimson   
A304   Broke Panic Buying; Toilet Paper. Woke Panic Buying; A Pound Of Carne Asada   
A305   Finally Learning Magik To Curse Charles Fucking Knowles   
A306   Idk What My Favorite Denton Cryptid Is; Miles From Two Knights Or Honorable Mayor, Joose Banks   
A307   Name Your First Release Something Other Than Demo You Dumb Ass   
A308   Gimme Yer Teeth   
A309   Simon III: When Will He Post His July 4th Pics?   
A310   Because, Life Without Class, Isn't Life Worth Living   
A311   I Was A Teenage American Picker   
A312   Heaven En Esparta   
A313   Brainbombs Nightcore   
A314   I'm Quarantined So I Don't Nuke Rei Clone's Ass   
A315   Veteran Of The Shit-Ticket Wars   
A316   One Million Dead Oogles (Snob Cover)    
A317   Cowboy Night   
A318   Lawful Cannibalism   
A319   Eating The Rich Is Vegan   
A320   1984 Jeep Honcho   
A321   Revoking Top Fan Badges Of Fucking Losers On The Infernal Legions Facebook   
A322   I Must Shit, But I Have No Ass   
A323   Some Might Say I Have Too Much Ass   
A324   April April Its Fucking April    
A325   I Just Lost The Game   
A326   Ihsahn Wearing A Turtleneck Sweater   
A327   We Are The Premiere Gorenoise Band From Denton    
A328   Why Should I Get Bummed That People Who Enjoy 100 Gecs Don't Like Me, They've Shown Their Lack Of Taste   
A329   Hey, You Missed Our Set   
   Foul Sounds Of The Wretched Night: Live 2-29-20   
A330   Introduction: A Warm And Erect Genitalia   
A331   Aggressive Rock   
A332   I'm Really Glad Seth Putnam Is Dead   
A333   Cave Dwelling Dungeon Synth Fan   
A334   Cranking Hog In Rhythm With Fragile By Yes    
A335   Oh Good God He's In A Floyd Hole!!!!   
A336   Out Of The Depths Of The Toilet   
A337   Nice Gatecreeper Shirt You Stupid Fucking Poser   
A338   Razorbumps Played Coachella, Thats The Joke / Outro   
   CBN / Infernal Legions Of Mordor Split   
B1   Introduction; The Calm And Ethereal Morning. The Time Before The Carnage   
B2   The First Arrow Flies At The Crack Of Dawn   
B3   The Coppery Taste Of Blood After The First Kill   
B4   Blade Plunged Deep Into Yielding Flesh   
B5   666 Dead Cultists    
B6   Pile Of Dead Bodies Arranged In A Blasphemous Manner   
B7   Sacrifice Under The Perfectly Aligned Stars   
B8   A Siege Lasting 6 Days And 9 Hours   
B9   Standing Atop A Pile Of My Dead Enemies    
B10   Blade Forged Specifically To Kill   
B11   Gutting The Foul Orc Who Killed My Brother    
B12   A Cave Full Of Kobolds    
B13   Another Cave To Forge Potions Within   
B14   Malevolent Floating Skeleton   
B15   Ancient Evil Rising From Its Crypt   
B16   A Coven Of Witches Harvesting Vampyric Fluids   
B17   What Do You Have To Barter With?   
B18   Little Gremlin That Is Hard To Keep Track Of   
B19   Cursed By The Shining Wizard   
B20   A Dark Night To Perform Arcane Sorcery Under   
B21   Sounds Of Their Screams Mingled With The Burning Of The Land   
B22   Kingdom Uprooted From Its Home   
B23   Under A Malediction Of An Ancient Warlock   
B24   Crazed, Bloodthirsty Troll Rises Above The Hill   
B25   Death Will Come To All The False   
B26   Effigy Made From Human Sacrifices    
B27   A River Of Blood Runs Free    
B28   Final Spell Cast As The Evil Wizard Is Slain    
B29   Recharging My Crystals    
B30   Under The Highest Arc Of The Eclipse The Sacrifice Begins    
B31   Mating Call Of The Blood Orc   
B32   Ode To The Fallen Warrior   
B33   Rusty Blade Found In The Bottom Of A Lake   
B34   Beheading The Tyrant King   
B35   Intermission: Counting The Dead Before The Second Wave Surges    
B36   A Cloak Made From The Scalps Of Those Whose Lives My Blade Extinguished    
B37   Severed Head Babbling The Final Incantations   
B38   The Hill I Will Die Upon   
B39   As The Fog Lifts, I See The Unholy Hordes Advancing    
B40   Teleported To The Land Of The Dead   
B41   Hovering Lifeless, The Corpse Speaks In The Language Of The Old Ones   
B42   Entering The Husk Of The Giant To Consume It's Heart   
B43   Legions Of The Night   
B44   Magik Cloak Concealing The Sacrificial Dagger   
B45   13 Black Candles Arranged In An Array    
B46   Blood Alchemy    
B47   Ritual Committed At The Top Of A Mountain   
B48   The Finest Steel Made By Blood Elves    
B49   Following The Light Of The Stars   
B50   Flail Crashing Through The Skull Of An Orc   
B51   Fiery Pentagram Beckoning   
B52   Solitude In My Fortress   
B53   Human Flesh Sopping Beneath My Feet   
B54   The Haunted Remains Of An Ancient Castle   
B55   Deep Within The Catacombs Of Div-e Sepid   
B56   Hunted By The Captives Of The Devilwitch    
B57   Sword Encased In Stone Carrying An Ancient Curse   
B58   That Which Lurks Within The Waters   
B59   The Winds Softly Sings It's Carrion Tune   
B60   Red Glow Of The Eldritch Sunrise, The Last Thing I Will See   
B61   Her Shield, Forever Stained Crimson   
B62   Malevolent Forces At Work   
B63   Hooded Figures, Lying Dead Inside Of A Scorched Circle   
B64   The Grave Comes For Us All   
B65   Petrified By The Rising Sun   
B66   Foul Potion Filled With The Morning Dew From The Northside Of A Mountain   
B67   Teleporting To A New Location To Launch A Subsequent Spell   
B68   Holy Shit I Can't Believe We Got CBN To Do A Split With Us   
B69   Conclusion: Light Pollution From Funeral Pyres On Low Hanging Clouds As The Storm Gathers   
   311 Bygone Tales From The Realm Of Sauron   
B70   Introduction: The Disgusting Stench Of Burning Feces That Is Being Prepared To Be Catapulted Into The Castle As The Siege Commences   
B71   I Own Guns To Protect Myself From Code Orange Fans   
B72   Q Did 3/11   
B73   I'm Gonna Fight Lars Ulrich    
B74   Dfw Metal Mayhem Is Mad I Made Fun Of D&D, So I'm Gonna Do It Again (D&D Is Dumb)   
B75   The Fountain Is A Really, Really, Really Bad Movie   
B76   Straight Edge Hardcore Dudes Harm Women And Everyone Ignores It So They Can Keep Playing Mediocre Guitar Riffs   
B77   My Favorite Part Of Punk Is The Only Time I Hear From My "Friends" Is When They Want Something From Me   
B78   God Forbid, Hardcore Kids Do Anything Aside From Hardcore! What Posers!   
B79   Colton From Reanimated Miscarriage Is Going To Come To Texas And Fight Me   
B80   How Can I Be A Narcissist When I Look Like This   
B81   I Asked If My T-bell Diarrhea Sounded Like Carcass Or Impetigo Vocals, When It Was Closer To Demilich Vocals   
B82   Balding And Fucked   
B83   My Life Hasn't Been The Same Since I Got A Gandalf Hat   
B84   I'm Gonna Fight Gene Simmons    
B85   This Years Tornado Season Will Be The Midwest's Punishment For Egg Punk   
B85   Sacrifice Lumpy If You Want To Avert This   
B86   Take The Time By Dream Theater   
B87   My Dangly Earring Is A Personality Trait Right?   
B88   What Is This Venue's Sword Policy?    
B89   Dallas Metal Dudes And Their Collective Poop Fetish (The Ballad Of Eatin' Like A Big Fella)   
B90   Face It, You're In An Egg Punk Band   
B91   If I Wanted An Angry Italian Man To Yell At Me, I Would Go To A Sub Shop Instead Of The Hank Wood Show    
B92   Where Does Target Keep Their Noise Tables?   
B93   Punk Time Is Dead And It Is Buried In My Back Yard   
B94   Being Gaslit For My Hatred Of Raising Caines    
B95   Goatmoon Is Just Racist Wintersun   
B96   Opeth Is What Would Happen If You Made A Heavy Metal Harry Potter And Also Bad   
B97   Unprecedented Levels Of Dipshittery   
B98   Infernal Legions Of Mordor, The Pawn Stars Of Noisecore   
B99   I'm Gonna Fight Jimmy From Youtube   
B100   Playing Hacked Up For Barbeque By Mortician Is Work Appropriate, Right?   
B101   I Payed A Guy At A Ren Faire To Roast My Hobbit And Now My Hobbit Won't Go To The Ren Faire   
B102   Support Local Business, Especially When They Allow Me To Bring My Sword In   
B103   That Guy From Blood Incantation Looks Like A Scifi Writer Driven Insane By The World He's Created   
B104   How Many Times Will Bone Sickness Follow And Unfollow Me On Instagram   
B105   My Combat Alchemist In The Parking Lot Of An Egg Punk Fest Expelling A Bad Potion   
B106   Dallas Grindcore People Telling Us We Need To Play A Longer Set   
B107   That Feel When James LeBrie Say "Carpe Diem, Seize The Day"   
B108   Razorbumps Is A Rockabilly Band, Prove Me Wrong    
B109   Hey, The Firefly Jayne Replica Hat Stays On During Sex Okay???   
B110   Ending Friendships Over Catan Trade Embargoes   
B111   I'm Into Cynic And Atheist So You Could Say I'm A Bit Of A Jazz Fan   
B112   Rick And Morty Shirts Are The New Fedora   
B113   Hot Boxing Your Straightedge Friend With CBD   
B114   Only Two Whole Years Until The Next Season Of Venture Bros (This Did Not Age Well)   
B115   Writing Off A Six Month Sword-Making Apprenticeship As A "Business Expense" On My Taxes    
B116   Listen, Not Every Dumb Ass Statement You Make Has To Be A Song Title, And That's The Song Title   
B117   Straightedge Noisecore War Commando   
B118   Kommand Was Better When They Were Called Hoax   
B119   I Now Play This Card To Retain My Virginity   
B120   Mountain Dew Where Is My Sponsorship   
B121   Shitposting Songtitles From This Lp On Facebook When I'm On The Clock At Work   
B122   Without Hesitation I Will Punish You About How And Why You Should Be Watching Venture Bros   
B123   "Walk This Way" Is The Worst Fucking Song    
B124   A.M.A.S. (All Men Are Simps)    
B125   My Friend Ryan's Mullet    
B126   Hell Yeah Bruther   
B127   Who's The Bigger Nerds, Us Or Vault Dweller?   
B128   Going To Ye Olde Pub Instead Of Watching The Bad Local Metalcore Band   
B129   Bald Larry Got License Plates That Say "Senpai"   
B130   Dystopia Is Skramz For Crusties   
B131   I'm Gonna Whup Varg's Tabletop Rpg Playing Ass   
B132   Sitting On The Porch Of House Of Tinnitus, Sippin' On Texas Cold Brew With Texas Mike   
B133   8/19/19; The Day Texas Mike Came Home   
B134   Cool Beans Let Me Play Cannibal Corpse Over Their P.A.   
B135   You Play In A Psych Rock Band (No One Cares About The Stupid Visuals You Have To Accompany Your Boring Music)   
B136   Dune Is Better Than Star Wars   
B137   The Butt Rock Song   
B138   A 12 Gauge Shotgun Full Of Our Lord's Forgiveness   
B139   Derik Can Only Harm You If You Know Of Him   
B140   Mountain Dew Doesn't Make Your Dick Shrink, I Was Born With A Micropenis   
B141   Taking A Mighty Push   
B142   Maggot Stomp Got That Pit Viper Sponsorship And That's Too Cool To Rip On   
B143   Writing Song Titles At 4:20 Am On Your Day Off Because You're On Some King Shit   
B144   Hey 1919 Can I Have My Money Back?   
B145   Oh Yes, Piss Off The Warlock   
B146   If I Crank The Sharpness And Contrast On My Mediocre Live Concert Photography Everyone Will Love It   
B147   Paying Any Amount Of Money For One Of Those Straight Edge Watches Is Fucking Stupid   
B148   Getting Asked To Play More "Customer Friendly Music", So I Put Mortiis On   
B149   Yes I Am An Admin On Metal Archives, And Yes I Talk To Women   
B150   We Shitpost Better Than Cruelster   
B151   Someone Once Called Me You Lord Of The Rings Lookin' Ass   
B152   Noisecore Is A Better Genre For Straightedge Liberation Than Youth Crew   
B153   Who Is This Mans Selling Pornogrind And Polish Extreme Metal Bootleg Tapes To Recycled And Not Me?   
B154   Pubic Floss Is My Favorite Ska Band   
B155   No Wait, Natural Man Is   
B156   I Went To A Noise Show On 9/11 And All I Got Was A Dollar   
B157   No You Don't Need A Gun   
B158   Tomb Mold Is My New Favorite Hypebeast Streetwear Brand   
B159   I'm Really Happy Seth Putnam Is Dead   
B160   Its Still Hilarious Josh From Anal Cunt Died Falling Off An Escalator   
B161   Tim Morse Got The Shit Kicked Out Of Him   
B162   Punks Who Cosplay As Darby Crash In 2020 Are Fucking Stupid   
B163   If I Gather All Of Dragon Ball Z On Vhs, Shenron Will Appear To Call Me A Nerd   
B164   Derailed Train Full Of Decapitated Oogles   
B165   Dumpster Diving For Forbidden Knowledge    
B166   I Miss Oil Spill   
B167   The Mullet That's Supposed To Save The World   
B168   Rest In The Arms Of A Dragon   
B169   Death Metal Was A Scam To Sell Longsleeve Shirts   
B170   Gun Dudes That Can't Cum Unless Their Wife Named Cindy Is Holding A Glock 7 Gen 3 To Their Bald Spot   
B171   Imagine Risking Exposure To Covid-19 To See A Soundcloud Rap Show   
B172   Tanking The Success Of My Noise Rock Band By Coming Out In Favor Of Driver's Licenses    
B173   The Mans With The Mortician Tramp Stamp Tattoo   
B174   Oh God No, Not Another Song Sampling Peter Jackson's Dead Alive   
B175   Your Pop Punk Has Breakdowns And Your Browser Is On A Watchlist   
B176   None Of Your Gorram Business That I'm Writing A Rutting Noisecore Song About Firefly   
B177   Firefly Lasted Longer Than I Do In Bed   
B178   Don't Open The Docking Port, You'll Let The Oboe In!!!!!   
B179   River Tam Will Kill You With Her Mind   
B180   Vhs Collectors Are Chill Ass Bros   
B181   The World Would Be A Better Place If Cookout Was A National Chain   
B182   You Smell Like You Play In A Grindcore Band   
B183   The Ballad Of The Egg Punk Demo Cassette   
B184   Simps Pretend To Like Death Metal To Lay Pipe   
B185   Your Band Has No Riffs   
B186   You Play In A D-Beat Band   
B187   Bodybag Darryl   
B188   I Was Paid To Take Photos Of An E-Girl, Take That 4chan   
B189   Average Time It Takes For People To Stop Caring About An Osdm Worship Band That Came Out On 20 Buck Spin   
B190   I, A 45 Year Old Man, Paid $100 To See David Yow Pull Out His Penis, Not To Talk Bad About My President   
B191   Amazing How White Drugs Was The Only Good Amrep Band   
B192   Remembering When The Drummer Of Skeleton Asked Me If He Should Listen To Obituary   
B193   We Bullied Taco Bell Into Bringing Back Potatoes On 311   
B194   Ah Yes, Jazz Fusion Covers Of Pokemon Route Themes   
B195   Harsh Noise Wall Track Using My Scrapped Brake Shoes   
B196   I Don't "Get" Noise Says The Person Who Likes 100 Gecs   
B197   Playing Brainbombs At The Function To Weed Out The Weak Friends   
B198   Everyone Is "We Love And Support You" Until You Threaten To Castrate Yourself With A Sword Your Friend Found In An Alleyway Next To A Car With A Broken In Windshield   
B199   This Song Is Just An Excuse To Sample Firefly   
B200   Nice Gatecreeper Shirt You Stupid Fucking Poser   
B201   "I Miss Going To Shows" Says The Sad Nerd Who Sat Outside During Every Band Smoking American Spirits   
B202   If Your Band Sounds Like American Football, I'm Kicking Your Fucking Ass   
B203   I Want To Fight People That Wear Suits In Public   
B204   Listening To Shadow Gallery To Experience What Dream Theater Would Be Like If They Had A Bass Player   
B205   Slint Is Just Korn But For Nerds   
B206   Okay, But What If I Said I've Never Actually Read Lord Of The Rings   
B207   Effortless Urination Of Bright Yellow Pee-Pee   
B208   We're Destroying The Baby Right?   
B209   The Darkest Magik   
B210   Yautja Is The Funniest Band In Metal, And The Most Handsome   
B211   Paying A Sex Worker To Just Cuddle Me, I'm Lonely   
B212   My Fetish Is Watching 30-40 Year Old Guys Imitate Steve Albini On Stage In At A Bar In Dallas, I Cum All The Time   
B213   Assigned Cowboy At Birth   
B214   All Hail Our Dork Lord And Master!   
B215   Beware Of Geeks Bearing Gifts   
B216   Ancient...Evil...And Hungry   
B217   Wizard Metal By The Numbers   
B218   A Harmless Giant From A Foreign Land   
B219   Survival Of The Thiccest   
B220   Sizzler Buffet For The Sexually Deranged    
B221   Yer Gonna Feel My Boot   
B222   Meat Mountain, Clogging Toilets And Arteries Everywhere   
B223   The Eye Of The Shitstorm   
B224   HOT GIRLS WITH SWORDS DOT COM   
B225   Muffled Sounds Of Gorilla Violence   
B226   Looking At Your Dungeon Tan I Can Tell That You're A Fan Of Mortiis   
B227   Yeah, I'd Get The Elf Ear Surgery   
B228   Keep The Adidas High Tops Free Of Blood Lest Ye Summon The Eldritch God Kareem Abdul-Jabbar   
B229   When The Reply Guys Swarm In   
B230   I Saw Rusty From Mental Abortion's Dick In Cabin Fever 2   
B231   You Play In An HM2-Core Band   
B232   Onlyfans But It's Just Chalrles Knowles Whuppin' My Ass   
B233   Thundersnow   
B234   Rise And False Grind   
B235   A Great Wizard, Ripping A Fat Bowl To Steely Dan   
B236   Skinhead But Not By Choice   
B237   Hanging Out At The Ren Faire With My Fellow Ugly LARPers   
B238   Noisecore For The Instagram Clout   
B239   Dark Highwayman, Encountered At Dusk Upon His Steed Named Sempai   
B240   Remembering When Sawblade Threatened To Strangle Me When I Was 19   
B241   Getting Fired From My Job As A DJ At A Bar For Playing The Traci Lords Loves Noise Reissue On Breathing Problem   
B242   I Got Cum All Over My Lone Wolf Audio Maggot Stomp Collab Distortion Pedal T-Shirt So I Ordered Another One   
B243   Using The Blood On The Eerified Catacomb Cassette To Make A Clone Of U.E. And Have My Own Pet Hypebeast Nekro Black Metal Machine   
B244   Making Fun Of Other Bands To Hide My Rage That No One Likes My Band   
B245   Smashing Your Head Into A Master Sword Replica After Laughing At How Stupid A New Infernal Legions Of Mordor Song Is   
B246   Having Gorenoise Tapes From Breathing Problem Productions Delivered To My Job   
B247   Are You Really Vibing Or Are You Just Giving Off Deadly Levels Of Ionizing Radiation?   
B248   We All Have Mustaches Now   
B249   Mute The Sword   
B250   We're Tall, You Aren't    
B251   Oh, Great, Another Band With Parker Lawson Doing Vocals   
B252   Temporary Secretary By Paul McCartney Started Egg Punk   
B253   We Need More Death Metal Distortion Pedals   
B254   Matt, "Peavey", Perrin Has A Gun   
B255   I Have A VHS Collection Instead Of A Personality   
B256   Kinkshaming Someone For Listening To Brainbombs   
B257   A Horsedrawn Carriage Full Of Ass   
B258   Buzzword Death Metal   
B259   Who Do I Have To Make Fun Of At The Dallas Observer To Finally Get Them To Notice Us?   
B260   What Isn't Beneath Tom G. Warrior's Beanie   
B261   Going To Tennessee To Finally Beat The Shit Out Of Thrashhard08   
B262   Infertile Hails   
B263   Avantasia Wrote A Power Ballad About Incest   
B264   Pickles Strutting His Noisecore Clout With A Trans Am   
B265   How Quickly Will Any Of The Guest Performers On This Regret Being On This Tape?   
B266   Giant Ass Sword   
B267   The Only Way To Escape The Grip Of Longmont Potion Castle Is Death   
B268   This Skullet Is A Poor Attempt To Cover This Red Neck   
B269   Qui-Gon Epstein   
B270   Deadbeat Disrocker Dad   
B271   War Metal Gauntlet With A Rail Of Blow   
B272   Who Is This Strange Man Who Entered My Keep With A Garment That Reads "RATLORD"   
B273   Anal Cunt Song Titles That Unfortunately Live Rent Free In My Head   
B274   Bald Larry Correcting Me About The Avantasia Incest Song   
B275   Highest Regarded Opinions Of The Tech Death Guitar Player   
B276   Black Metal Finsta   
B277   Dr. Alican Koc   
B278   Thank Fuck The Nerve In This Tooth Finally Died   
B279   Consuming My Slain Enemy's Heart For His Courage, His Brain For His Intelligence, And Eating His Ass   
B280   Getting Brain Juices All Over My Livestream Blood Incantation Shirt While Getting A COVID Test   
B281   You Play In A Perverse Homage Raw Black Metal Band   
B282   There Is A Box In The Back Of My Bedroom Closet With Dollar Signs Drawn All Over It With Nothing But Mark Winter Demos In It   
B283   A Trashbag Full Of Blow To Be Delivered To The War Metal Band   
B284   We're All Poseurs (Especially You)   
B285   Allegiance Formed With Mountain Of Smoke In The Realms Of Meatcraft   
B286   Dick Armor   
B287   Fully Erect Alchemist   
B288   Your Aluminum Guitar Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore   
B289   My Ass Is A Furnace   
B290   O Thank Thee, Guardian Of Metal   
B291   You Listen To Discharge   
B292   A Goblin Swinging A Sack Full Of Quarters   
B293   Great Another Smelly Asshole Who Thinks Video Violence Is A Good Movie Telling Me That Hereditary Sucks   
B294   Charles Entertainment Knowles, Top Fan   
B295   You Play Math Rock (And You Suck At It Too)   
B296   You Told Me 'Look Man, I Put Out Records And Tour' But You Still Can't Write A Riff   
B297   Getting Targeted Ads For The Thicc AT&T Girl   
B298   Razor Girl From Brutal Legend Based Sexual Fantasy   
B299   If You’re Looking For Riffs In Contemporary Music And You Listen To Punk, I Have Bad News For You   
B300   You Listen To Death Metal (And You Smell Like It Too)   
B301   I Got A Friend Request From The Guitarist Of Devourment   
B302   You Listen To Opeth   
B303   Hanging Out In The Alley Behind J&J's With A Bunch Of Stupid Fucking Metalheads Listening To Celtic Frost   
B304   Crust Fund Kids Saying They "Don't Even Like Money!" All The Way To Their Parent's Bank   
B305   Having To Wear A Diaper When You Listen To Disembowelment Because You Keep Shitting Yourself    
B306   Telling Pantera Fans The South Won't Rise Again   
B307   My Wizard Hat, Taking To The Wind, Revealing My Bald Spot To The World   
B308   I Have My Very Own Lime Scooter And A Sword, Fear My Whimsy   
B309   Hitting The Character Limit On Bandcamp Song Titles   
B310   Derik The Hobbit   
B311   Imagine, If You Will, Rick Wakeman Wearing A Cape   
B312   It Smells Like Loneliness In Here   
B313   Explaining Anal Cunt To My Boss   
B314   If You Enjoyed Watching The Movie Martyrs, You Are A Bad Person   
B315   In Other News I Made A Noise Musician Mad On Twitter   
B316   This Isn't An Elf Cosplay, I Just Look Like This   
B317   The Only Time Anyone Cares About When You Pick Up An Instrument Is When You're Playing Cover Songs   
B318   The Reviews Are In   
B319   I Am A Late Game Boss That Is Hinted At For Two Thirds Of The Game That Has A Rare One Of One Loot Drop   
B320   Matt "Peavey" Perrin Demands To Be Sponsored   
B321   I Can't Believe Sleep Made A Career Off Of Ripping Off Sweet Leaf   
B322   Fremen For Vengeance   
B323   How Many Of Those Facebook Likes Did Your Band Have To Buy?   
B324   Being A Gatekeeper Fucking Rules   
B325   Starving For A Thirst Trap   
B326   Oh Good, The Blood Funnel   
B327   At Night, My Eldritch Supercomputer Crawls Under The Covers For Warmth   
B328   Selling My Punk Demos Before The Hype Dies Down And Getting Premium Prices On Discogs   
B329   You Listen To Iced Earth   
B330   Sometimes I Just Re-Read This List Of Song Titles, Not For Fun, But Because I Have Very Little Going On In My Life   
B331   Fancy Delights Ov The Void   
B332   Someone Stop Oyabun666 From Listing Every Punk Bandcamp Release on Discogs, No One Cares   
B333   Frozen Soul Weightlifting In Eternal Champion Merch   
B334   The Eldritch And Horrifying Mating Calls Of The Denizens Of 'Dega   
B335   The Lasting Legacy Of The Aughts Punk Band That Put Out a Demo, An EP And Only Played Fests   
B336   For Some Fucking Reason, I HAVE To Be THE Most Metal Person At this Estate Sale   
B337   Watching The Incel Uprising Tank The Stock Market   
B338   Another Song Where We Use Our Favorite Word, Eldritch, In The Title   
B339   You Play A PRS   
B340   Pounding Beers With The Goblin   
B341   Christopher Lee If You Are Out There And Can Hear Me: Please Haunt Me   
B342   Keep Your Mage Hand Strong   
B343   No One Asked Steven Wilson For Those Remixes   
B344   Hypnotized By ANTIFA Temptresses   
B345   Deep Within The Eternal Chambers Of The Pizza Dungeon   
B346   Unfriending Me On Facebook Won't Make Folk Punk Good   
B347   I'm Gonna Fight Froggy Fresh   
B348   Another Song To Flex Our Obscure Horror Knowledge By Sampling Bloodsuckers From Outer Space   
B349   Punk Goes...Country   
B350   It's Always Sunn O))) In Philadelphia   
B351   Fear Is The Painkiller   
B352   We're Available On I Heart Radio   
B353   You Listen To Comfy Synth   
B354   Asking The Owner Of Recycled Permission To (Continue To) Haunt Recycled When I Die   
B355   Sick Caveman Riffs   
B356   I Would Die 1000 Deaths For Texas Michael, Esq   
B357   Don't You Hate It When Assholes Break The Magickal Blood Seal   
B358   I Spit On Your Graveland   
B359   I Am Not Pausing Neil Young To Listen To This   
B360   Givin' Them Ghosts A Show   
B361   You Play In A Youth Crew Band   
B362   True Black Metal   
B363   Your Grandma Doesn't Need To Die Because You Couldn't Wait To See Ruptured Goat Anus Gurgle About Sexual Assault   
B364   Are You Aware Of The Power Of Shadows?   
B365   Keep Your Blade Held Aloft   
B366   I Screamed These Vocals Into A Sword   
B367   Livin' La Vida Don Vito   
B368   Cockblocked By A Self Proclaimed Shaman   
B369   You're Bleeding And I'm Tired   
B370   You Listen To 80's Yes   
B371   We Are Three Hundred And Three Songs In, Take A Break, You've Earned It Weary Traveler, You Are Almost There.   
B372   (Where Did) N.T.S.B. Fuckin' Go   
B373   Automatically Spawned With Blade In Hand   
B374   Townie Punks Fuck Off   
B375   Oh Man, Your True Crime And Bondage Themed Power Electronics Bands Must Get You All The Girls Huh Champ?   
B376   Anything Is A Musical Instrument If You Tape A Contact Mic To It, Duh   
B377   Not To Get Political Or Anything But Absurd Fucking Sucks   
B378   Wow, I Really Can't Believe You Have Listened To This Whole Fucking Thing. Whatever Sinks Your Ship   
B379   Amber Is The Colour Of My Anime / The Closing Ceremonies   
   You Will Never Be Top Fan    
C1   You Will Never Be Top Fan    
   Split With Lip Cream (AKA Songs About How Much I Think Cottagecore Is False & Noisecore Is The Truth)   
C2   69 Songs   
   Supplementary Nekro Symphonies Absconded From The Cadaver Of Ildjarn   
C3   Crimson Flood Spewing From The Ruptured Acne Vagarous    
C4   Ascertain Thineself A Berth With A Duvet Cover, Cease The Playing Of The Emo Phonographs, Then, Perhaps A Female Will Give You Audience, You Fetid Weakling    
C5   Foul Enchantress Extracting Seminal Fluids From My Gargantuan Rod For Diabolical Sorcery Conducted In The Abhorrent Crepuscule    
C6   False Individuals Claiming To Be Eldritch And Outlandish, Despite Their Output Being Middling At Best   
C7   As An Administrator On Encyclopedia Metallum; The Metal Archives, My Very Own Conjecture On The Stylings Of Alternative Music Are Unerring   
C8   The Trepidation Concerning My Own Demise At The Metacarpals Of A Fluid Soaked Punchinello    
C9   Fred Durst Is An Improved Rebellious Songwriter Than Any Of You Leather Clad Punks    
C10   Gamers Sit Down   
C11   Nocturnal Emissions Originating In A Carnal Hallucination Enmeshed With Visions Of Matt Berry As The Personification Of Jackie Daytona Slapping My Hams   
C12   Blissful Passage From This Macabre Simulation Into The Realm Beyond, Which Is Entirely Populated With Buxom Mistresses Armed With The Most Exceptional Swords    
C13   The Fragrance Of The Most Splendid Spaghetti Emanating From The Wretched Taco Bell Excrement Issued From My Bulbous Anus   
   69 Ways To Ruin Your Life: The Words of the Venerated Texas Mike Pt 2   
C14   Bat With A Nail In It   
C15   You Can Drive My Truck, Just Don't Touch My Stereo   
C16   Revisiting An Old Idea: George W Bush Garfield Drawing   
C17   Marco Polo But Instead Of Saying Marco / Polo You Say Scully / Mulder And You Both Close Your Eyes And Run Around In Circles In A Cornfield.   
C18   Buy A Motorcycle On Credit   
C19   What’s The Deal With Wine??? What’s Wrong With A Nice Can Of Piss??   
C20   Brainbombs But Kermit Voice   
C21   Seeking Elopement Dot Com   
C22   Golden Hour Is The Best Hour To Get Drunk While Pretending To Read A Book By The Window   
C23    Life Is A Three Way Switch For Me.   
C24   The Settings Are "I Want To Die", "I Want To Do Something Stupid", And "I Feel Like God".   
C25   Next To The Switch Is A Gas Pedal And It's Just Duct Taped Down   
C26   A Picture Is Worth One Thousand Words But Getty Images Will Only Accept $USD   
C27   Sitting Outside The Walmart That Banned Me In My Car, Exile On Main St Blasting, Crying... All These Deals Passing Me   
C28   What If I Hit A Couple Dingers   
C29   Never Trust A Smiling Cat   
C30   Big Fan Of The Irish Goodbye, Sometimes You've Just Gotta Wander Off   
C31   Face / Off Porn Parody Called Jerk / Off   
C32   Had A Dream I Went To The Jungle To Die   
C33   My Job At The Chocolate Factory Is To Contaminate Everything With Nuts   
C34   No Matter How Far An Ass May Travel, He Will Not Return Home A Horse! Amen   
C35   Mads Mikkelsen Teaches You How To Tie Your Shoes Asmr   
C36   New Meme Style: You Print It Out And Take A Photo Of Yourself Holding It. You Become The Meme.   
C37   New Yolk   
C38   So A Cop's Horse Can Shit In The Street But When I Try To It's All Like "You're Under Arrest And I'm Disgusted With You"??   
C39   Wilem Dafoe Mode   
C40   Can You Make Me Look Like David Koresh?   
C41   My Hair Is So Fucked And Curly Rn I Look Like David Koresh   
C42   I Need A Robot To Give Me A Haircut   
C43   What If You Also Went To A Barber To Trim Your Pubic Hair   
C44   On My Hands And Knees Behind A Running Car Rabidly Huffing The Fumes   
C45   Busting In My Camo Pants.   
C46   His App Has Got Me In A Trance.   
C47   Makes Me Do A Dance.   
C48   Look At Me Prance.   
C49   I Love Romance.   
C50   Take My Payment In Advance.   
C51   God I Love The Internet   
C52   I Actually Wrote True Detective Season 1, That Other Guy Took It From Me   
C53   Life's Hard But I'm Not (I'm Flaccid Rn)   
C54   Hell Yeah I'm A Member Of The Iron Workers Union, I Lay Pipe!!   
C55   If I Die In A Freak Accident Delete My Drafts   
C56   Lifting Dumbbells In Front Of A Banks Front Doors - No One Is Going To Fucking Bank Today   
C57   What Do You Mean I'm Under Arrest?? This Is A Heat (1995) Cosplay Outfit!   
C58   British Yoda   
C59   Waging A War Against My Central Nervous System Today By Lifting Heavy Weights   
C60   If You Try To Surprise Me After 8pm I Hope You Like Being Struck With Force   
C61   Sun's Going Down So Put On Neil And Put That Fly Fishing Rod Away   
C62   Socially Distanced Blowjob   
C63   The First Title Is About The Sexuality Of The Free Market.   
C64   Wish I Could Just Wear Coveralls All Day And Hangout In A Studio Fucking Around   
C65   Leave The Gun, Take The Ravioli   
C66   Hot Dog Stand But They Sell Expensive Stationary (No Hot Dogs)   
C67   The Doors But They're Polish   
C68   Keanu Sex Scene In Cyberpunk Was A Letdown - No Hog Visible.   
C69   I'm Sick And I Have A Bad Case Of The Farts   
C70   A Penis Is Like A Small T-shirt Cannon   
C71   Hey Yeah Can I Get An Xfile?   
C72   Jeff Dunham And Ray Romano Hold Guns To Each Others Heads   
C73   Official Brainbombs Etsy   
C74   Us Soldier Captured By Enemy And Forced To Eat Papa John's Pizza   
C75   Proof About The Pyramids If Anyone's Interested In How They Were Built   
C76   This Is A Posting Spree And I Will Not Be Stopped   
C77   Catholic School Teacher Wearing A Burzum Shirt   
C78   I'm In The Yard Listening To Undergang, Smashing Rocks With A Hammer.   
C79   I Need Someone To Take Me To The Hospital Asap   
C80   I'm Shadowbanned From Krate For Rating An Oasis Album 1 Star   
C81   Please Send Gold   
C82   This One's For You (Whoever's Reading This): Keep It Up, I Believe In You!   
   8000 Song EP    
C83   8000 Songs   
   77 Myths Of Venerable Magik    
C84   Introduction: Gathering Around The Light Of The Fire As The Unearthly And Benevolent Spirits Of The Forest Join Us In This Magik Night   
C85   My Elf Ears Melted In My Car    
C86   Ranking Morbid Angel Albums Solely Based Upon Their Cover Art   
C87   At The Risk Of Taking A Feminist Stance, I Gotta Say Cemetery Rapist Is A Very Bad Band   
C88   Getting Frostbite During The Texas Blizzard Taking Corpsepaint Photos   
C89   Don't Tempt Me Frodo!   
C90   Awaken Me When The Time Is Appropriate To Listen To Type O Negative   
C91   Venom Enema   
C92   The Frozen One Awaits   
C93   Beefcakes Without Borders   
C94   Nothing More Punk Than A Fast, Casual Italian Eatery   
C95   The Ancient Spell, Grimly Uttered In The Tongues Of The Old Ones By My Unfortunate Rectum Hours After Eating Spicy Curry   
C96   Mamma's Selling A Line 6    
C97   Professor Snape, The World's Favorite Incel    
C98   The Gate Of No Return   
C99   The Noise Gate Of No Return   
C100   My Former Life As A Poser   
C101   Cognitive Behavioral Therapy   
C102   Diesel Boner    
C103   Really, How Long Does It Take To Test A Fucking Compression Pedal??   
C104   Tormented And Coerced Into Performing A Live Ritual By An Eldritch Forest Spirit, A Pair Of Ghouls And A Weeb   
C105   How Can I Be Punk When I Have A Severe Skin Allergy To Nickel    
C106   Freebasing Cringe   
C107   I Wish My Life Had More Of A Thulean Perspective   
C108   Daydreaming Giddily About John Lennon Burning In Hell   
C109   Catfishing Viper    
C110   Cognitive Ball Therapy   
C111   Researching The Legality Of Cannibalism   
C112   Entering And Leaving The Garage Waiting For The Random Encounter Peavey To Spawn    
C113   Unapproachable Raw Black Metal Legend Purchasing Me Indie Rock Record From My Own City    
C114   Cursed To Listen To Untold Hours Of King Crimson In The Lair Of Count Progula   
C115   Asking Raw Black Metal Elite, "You Ever Heard Behemoth?"   
C116   Buying A Gun From The Drummer Of Savatage    
C117   Having A Random Encounter With Lord Wurm In Recycled, To Have Him Babble Something Insane And Give You An S Rank Quest   
C118   Nice 12 String Ric You Psych Rock Playing Poser (I Mean This Unironically)    
C119   Okay Give Me That Guitar It's Too Cool for You, You Play Psych Rock in 2021    
C120   Wolves In The Throne Room Posting Emojis (Wolves In The Throne Room Are A Bunch Of Fucking Nerds, Pt. 2)    
C121   Being A Pornogrind Fan Is Cleaning The Cum Out Of The Grooves On Your Meat Shits Records    
C122   The Worst Part Of Being An Nsbm Fan (Other Than, Y'Know Being Racist) Is Having To Pretend That Absurd Is A Good Band   
C123   Like A Macabre Rail Of Silly String A Footlong Cord Of Turds Rope Descends From My Anus    
C124   And On That Day His Forehead Grew Three Times Its Normal Size   
C125   Punishing Edm Kids With Neil Young    
C126   Becoming A Cocaine Cowboy Because You Don't Know What Else To Do With Yourself Now That Burger Records Is Cancelled   
C127   You'll Cowards Won't Even Play In Standard Tuning   
C128   Todopoderoso Steals Riffs From Kombat (How DARE They Play An Open E)   
C129   Ancient Sword Of The Meth King   
C130   I'm Going To Fucking Fight Vincent Gallo, And I Will Win   
C131   Successfully Cyberbullied A Child   
C132   Save A Tele, Kill Your Local Indie Rocker   
C133   Do You Believe In Magick (Spelled With A "K")?   
C134   Aerosmith By Choice   
C135   Another Wampyric And Elusive Black Metal Project With Dungeon Synth Interludes Just Like The Last Five That I Unloaded My Paycheck On   
C136   That Mountain Goats Song About A Death Metal Band Wasn't About Kombat    
C137   Jackhammer Dildo    
C138   Knowing Very Obscure Metal Bands Makes Me A Desirable Person And Fun To Talk To At Parties    
C139   An Onslaught Of Rotting Monkeys   
C140   Giving My Album Art The Color Palette Of Black, White And Red So We All Know Its Blasphemy Worship (What The Goat Wasn't Enough Of A Giveaway?)    
C141   Wretched Crotchspawn Of A Belligerent Oogle    
C142   Larry Is Bald    
C143   Cum Ghost   
C144   The House That Beef Built    
C145   Time To Start Bullying NFT Artists    
C146   Critical Race Theory in Power Electronics   
C147   A Snake With A Mohawk Eating Its Own Asshole   
C148   I Fear My Earthling Neighbors Have Seen Me Feasting Upon Car Batteries   
C149   A Group Of Three (3) Or More Peavey Combo Amps Is Commonly Referred To As A "Pawn Shop"   
C150   Honor Guard Of Black Kittens Guide Me As I Carry This Pile Of Bones Home   
C151   If You Feel Your Rectum Begin To Leak Feel Free To Challenge Me To A Battle Of Intellects On Facebook   
C152   Eno-Pilled   
   Morgan's Song   
C153   Morgan's Song   
   Spells From Deep Below    
C154   An Ode To All The Small Creatures Of The Night (And Their Mystic Weapons)   
C155   2nd Split In A Year With A Garry Brents Band, Epic    
   Frozen Soul Left The Damn Air Conditioner On Again   
C156   Frozen Soul Left The Damn Air Conditioner On Again   
   Stop Asking Us To Do This :Alive From Andrew's Tavern June 23rd, 2023:   
C157   Gary's March / I Hench For No Man    
C158   Sudden And Total Loss Of Shpadoinkle   
C159   The Wild And Severe Psychosis Of The Blonde Brother   
C160   Sip-Sip-Sipiin' On That Sweet Wine In Charles Brown's Pocket   
C161   The Reviews Are In   
C162   Listen To Your Albino Sidekick   
C163   Murdering Glam Rock Legends   
C164   Once In High School I Got Dosed With Psychedelics And I Loved Pizza   
C165   Fred Durst Is An Improved Rebellious Songwriter Than Any Of You Leather Clad Punks   
   Harsh Legions Wall   
C166   148 Songs About Getting Lost In The Misty Woods   
   You Aren't Good Enough: Unreleased Compilation Tracks   
C167   Cheese Crimes   
C168   Why Yes, My Dick Is Fucking Small   
   Fuck You Buddy   
C169   The Night We Whupped Two Knight's Ass   
C179   Rushing To The Defense Of Hypebeast Death Metal Bands   
   VHSuck My Dick   
D1   Introduction; The Season Of The Witch   
D2   Bitten By The Sumatran Rat Monkey   
D3   Chainsawed Through Your Rotten Jaw   
D4   Torn Apart For The Reason Of Reanimation   
D5   It's Not Over Until The Bloodsoaked Teenager Says It Is   
D6   Alien Force Possessing Farmers To Insatiable Bloodlust   
D7   Cooler Full Of Unearthly Abominations Hungry For Flesh   
D8   The Eye Is The Window To The Gory Pits Of Hell   
D9   Haunted House Strewn With Frat Boy Guts   
D10   Resurrection Of The Muldoon Man   
D11   Midas Touch Of Rapid Decomposition   
D12   Wendigo's Chilli Con Carnival   
D13   Shengar's Legion Of The Living Dead   
D14   Stop Killing The Dead, The Living Deserve It   
D15   Gutted By A T-Rex   
D16   Too Healthy To Live   
D17   Ripped From The Womb   
D18   Great Value Midwestern Zombies   
D19   Shetaar Goddess Of Gore And The Night   
D20   The Worst Person On Earth   
D21   Chained To A Tree And Snot Running Free   
D22   Cult Of Gay Cannibals   
D23   Psychedelic Brain Slug   
D24   Following The Chunks Of A Dying Frat Boy To A Fistfull Of Buckshot   
D25   The Horror Nerd Saves The Day   
D26   Through The Silver Screen, Mutating Right In Front Of You   
D27   Beware Of Posh British Werewolves   
D28   Spirits Of The Sand   
D29   Cursed Valley Of The Devilwitch   
D30   Aligned Deaths, Vengeance From Beyond   
D31   Great Value George Romero   
D32   Western Showdown, With Vampires And A Truck   
D33   Valley Girls At The End Of The World   
D34   Crazy German Goresoaked Teenager Pt 1   
D35   Crazy German Goresoaked Teenager Pt 2   
D36   Ringworm Infested Hillfolk Consumed By A Boar   
D37   Surprisingly Tasteful Movie Being Sampled On This EP   
D38   Split Up The Middle By Slugman   
D39   Condemnation Of The Righteous And Sinners Alike   
D40   The Slippery Rich Eat The Poor   
D41   From The Future To Murder The Past (Not About The Terminator)   
D42   The Wise Words Of The Tobacco Man   
D43   Two Ways To Half A Boomer   
D44   Nicholas Cage Drug Fueled Fury   
D45   Necrophiliac At The Micmac Burial Ground   
D46   Where's My Hug At?   
D47   The Sample Is The Only Good Part Of This Dogshit Slasher   
D48   The Bloodsoaked Girl That Escaped From Patrick Stewart's Brain   
D49   The Sign Is Warning You   
D50   The Line That Defined Tom Atkins' Career   
D51   Snakehand And Its Penchant For The Human Jaw   
D52   Mom Can We Stop And Get Evil Dead? No We Have Evil Dead At Home. Evil Dead At Home.   
D53   The Ravings Of The Gemini Killer   
D54   Reasons To Be Wary Of Goths   
D55   Satanic Grandmothers Disembowel Their Worthless Family   
D56   There Were Slugs In This Shot Of Malort   
D57   Not In Front Of The Mutants!   
D58   Shimmering Goo That Eats You!   
D59   They Brought Back The Star To Explode   
D60   Little Shit Becomes An Assistant Serial Killer   
D61   Fleshprison Of Inter Galactic Serial Killer   
D62   Aging Beauty Pays The Price Of Pride And Vanity   
D63   Melting Chunks Of Hobo   
D64   Degenerate Yelling Teenagers   
D65   Invasion Of The Body Snatchers Meets The Terminator   
D66   Texan, Southern Fried Henry   
D67   The Most Obvious Sample From This Alarmingly Horny Movie   
D68   Alien Hacked To Pieces By Oscar Award Winning Director   
D69   Outro; Return Of The Witch   
   69 Tabs Of Porn Open On My Crystal Orb   
D70   The Ritual Is Underway   
D71   Good Boy Versus The Ace Hardware   
D72   I REDACTED Robert Dethrage With My Rainbow Painted AR-15   
D73   Bald Larry Suggesting We Make A NFT, Fuck Him   
D74   John Petrucci Is Confused About The Distinct Lack Of Female Dream Theater Fans   
D75   Liking Bolt Thrower Doesn't Automatically Mean I'm A Nerd And Like Warhammer Does It?   
D76   You Smell Like Salami   
D77   Making An Sov Movie To Finally Be Made Fun Of By Colton From Rm   
D78   Slicing A Bigger Asshole With A Scythe   
D79   Truck Full Of Bubbas   
D80   The Wound Planet Has An Asteroid Belt   
D81   If You Meet Danny Conrad, At Tom's Daqueri, He Will Show You Where The Treasure Is   
D82   You Have Sideburns   
D83   Can I Buy Coffee In Denton, Texas (Ethically)   
D84   God I Can't Believe People Are Still Doing The Thing I Don't Like   
D85   Aggressive Stargazing    
D86   Those Crystals Won't Remove Your Curse, They're Time Travel Crystals   
D87   Poisoning A Psychic Vampire   
D88   Hank Hill Stole My Sword   
D89   You Are A DJ   
D90   Goblin Taxidermy   
D91   Forbidden Elf Glizzy   
D92   So Where Are The Penis Enlargement Crystals?   
D93   I Can See That Hot Sauce Senior Didn't Teach You Any Manors   
D94   Please Take The Hook Off Before Sex   
D95   Seance With An A.I.   
D96   Extinction Level Event At Anime Expo   
D97   I Threw The Dead Rat At Full Of Hell   
D98   Setting The Vibe By Playing Needle Exchange's 2018 Classic, "Kill Them All With Fentanyl"   
D99   I Don't Care For The Government But I Do Believe In Mandatory Background Checks For Selling Punks Chorus Pedals   
D100   I'm Not A Necrophile, I'm A Necromancer    
D101   Matt "Peavey" Perrin Luring You Into His Lair To Feed You Braums And Force You To Watch Shit That Fucks   
D102   Ruptured Goat Anus Wants To Do A Split With Us (We're Good)   
D103   Please Stop Asking Us To Play Shows   
D104   You Play In Deep Ellum   
D105   Black Magick: The NSBM Of Wizardry   
D106   Encountering A Witch In Winco, Accepting The Crystal Gift And Immediately Shitting Myself   
D107   Mountain Dew Caudron    
D108   Charles Fucking Knowles II: Shred Season   
D109   You Eat At Whataburger   
D110   They Say There's Magick In The Air   
D111   Asking A Telemarketer If They “Fear Death Yet Also Long For It?”   
D112   Hardcore Kids Playing Death Metal   
D113   Orb To Ponder In One Hand, Shotgun In The Other   
D114   Chekhov's Battle Axe   
D115   State Sanctioned Furries   
D116   Department Of Defense Spiritual Warrior Contractor   
D117   Hey, I Know That We Stole A Disfigured Corpse From The Morgue   
D118   Then We Brought It To A Cemetery To Perform A Satanic Ritual On It Beneath The Full Moon   
D119   But We're Now In This Abandoned Mansion Where We Found A Satanic Spell Book   
D120   So Don't Tell Me You're "Too Creeped Out" To Have Sex Here?   
D121   Psychic War Draft Dodger   
D122   Ruining Dylan From Full Of Hell's Career By Making Him Guest On Our Tapes   
D123   Reanimated Miscarriage The Youth Attack Of Noisecore   
D124   Elevator Music For Evil Gnomes   
D125   Dad Wanted A Football Stud, He Got A Sorcerer   
D126   Bringing My Eight String Guitar On My Date And Playing Meshuggah Riffs Is A Real Panty Dropper   
D127   Mom Took My Sword Away   
D128   Noisecore Money   
D129   You Watch Obscure Horror Movies   
D130   Kill A Cop, Better Crops   
D131   You've Got No Friends So You Might As Well Start A Dungeon Synth Project   
D132   You Keep Asking Trans Siberian Orchestra To Play Savatage Songs   
D133   Lloyd Kaufman Made Fun Of Me For Collecting VHS   
D134   She Totally Crawled Out Of That New Hole   
D135   I Bled On A Keyboard And Fried It   
D136   Vampyryc Scyences   
D137   You Modify Your Orders At Taco Bell   
D138   The Battel Rages On   
   Ambient Selections   
E1   Calm & Ethereal Morning   
E2   True Black Metal   
E3   Take A Rest   
E4   Eno Pilled   
E5   Castle Siege   
E6   Drone Ov Battel   
E7   Gathering Around The Campfire